Benny: Hay hayaan mo na… Life is hard.Tina: Oo. Hard like your dick, paaare.Benny: Oo, too much, too owften. ******* Tina: Haaaay… I’m glad I actually did it! Ili-libre kita ng snow bear!Tina: Tatlong snow bear, paaare!Benny: Wow. this is like, the best day ever.Tina: I know, right? ******* Tina: Nak nakBenny: Who’s there?Tina: Papa… Continue reading

* Since I lost out on the burger challenge, I owe it to myself to see Benny’s puny ass burn in hell that’s why in the coming days, si Benny naman ang gagantihan ko ng burger challenge (of sorts) cuz like, I’m… hardcore… and stuff. Benny: Lalagyan ko na lang ng nicotine yung patty.Tina: Hehehe… Continue reading

I did mention that Benny and I, are cooking something special and today is ze day! Do forgive the delay. As promised, here’s Pork en Chop, ispeyshal edition! And bago magkalimutan thanks to Benny, Peter, Paeng, Paolo, Hannah, and her boyf Francis, for the moral support and also to Coach Bry for the intensely soul-crushing… Continue reading

Benny: Anyway, mamaya na ang pag-uusap! I will see your flimsy chinese ass later at 6pm McDo and you will see my Ilokano-Ilonggo flat ass connection later! Baboosh! ******** Tina: Well, I must now bid you adieu… *Emulating Maria Von Trapp in a high-pitched, vermin-ish voice* to you and you and you and you and… Continue reading

Tina: Happy Balentyms, papi!Benny: Happy crap day din.Tina: Oh, love… such a wonderful, wonderful *projectile vomiting* thing *sabay singhot ng dinurog na neozep* ******* Tina: Wala kang date?Tina: GASP!Tina: OH THE HORROR!!!Tina: TRAVESTY!!!Tina: CALL THE GODDAMNED MARINES!Benny: Iga-gangbang ako ng marines… meat torpedos compel me… ******* Tina: Haaay everyone’s inluuuurve no?Benny: Hindi naman. May mga… Continue reading

* May mga hitad na nagsabing they can’t stand my emo-ish shit for the past three weeks, hahahaha! Well, ang masasabi ko lang ay… Whatever, dorks. Nakikibasa lang kayo, letche!!! Bow. Tina: Sakit likod, sakit tyan… mamamatay na yata talaga ako T_TBenny: Yehey! Sa libing mo, kakanta si Paeng ng My Chemical Romance. Tapos dala-dala… Continue reading

Benny: …makikita mo na lang akong palibuy-libuy sa Mega…Tina: Libuy-libuy?Benny: Ay, palaboy-laboy pala, sorry!Tina: Putanginang palibuy-libuy yan… san galing yun?! ******** Tina: Tae na-samid ako ng hardcore.Benny: Eh?Tina: Nasamid ako… sobrang ni-ubo ko sha. Kahiya puro lalaki pa naman toditsBenny: Tanga kung tanga, pero ano ang ‘namasid?’Tina: Tangina naman eh…. Continue reading

Tina: Ganyan ang gagawin kong diet regimen, kakain ng panis tas mag-tatae ako forevahBenny: Masakit sya, mamimilipit ang tumbong mo.Benny: Nagpa-shit sample pa ako sa hospital. it was fun.Tina: Oh really? My Ghad, your life is one big adventure eh no?Tina: You’re… full of shit, literally.Tina: BURN you sickly bastard, BUUURRRNNNN!!!! ******* Benny: Sino si… Continue reading

Tina: You know what you need? Ask me!Benny: ?Tina: PROZAC!Benny: Ha! Dati ko nang iniisip yan pero lalaki boobs ko, one of its many side-effects. Takot ako…..Tina: Side effects nga ba yun?Benny: Oo daw.Tina: Dude, LALAKI BOOBS MO!Tina: Tas pag magisa ka sa bahay… lam mo na…Tina: Make y’know… lapirot your cocopuffsBenny: Pwede ko na… Continue reading

Tina: You always take my fondness of tilapias against me! You pig! I hatez youz! Look, I’ll even say it in French…Benny: Ah yes, The language of love…Tina: I Hatex Youx. ******* Tina: Nak nakBenny: Who’s there?Tina: Dexter.Benny: Dexter who?Tina: Dexter, the last dinosaur, he’s my friend and a whole lot more…Benny: Tangina naman eh.Tina:… Continue reading